Home > Religion, Silliness > Snap, Crackle, and Pop?

Snap, Crackle, and Pop?

Presbyterians and the Holy Trinity: Let Us Phrase

When referring to the Trinity, most Christians are likely to say “Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.”

But leaders of the Presbyterian Church (USA) are suggesting some additional designations: “Compassionate Mother, Beloved Child and Life-giving Womb,” or perhaps “Overflowing Font, Living Water, Flowing River.” Then there’s “Rock, Cornerstone and Temple” and “Rainbow of Promise, Ark of Salvation and Dove of Peace.”

The phrases are among 12 suggested but not mandatory wordings essentially endorsed this month by delegates to the church’s policy-making body to describe a “triune God,” the Christian doctrine of God in three persons.

Does this help anyone? I’m still confused as to how the whole thing works. A voice of reason is present in the article:

The Rev. Mark Brewer, senior pastor of Bel Air Presbyterian Church, is among those in the 2.3-million-member denomination unhappy with the additions.

“You might as well put in Huey, Dewey and Louie,” he said.

Sadly, he goes with a fairly banal phrase. I would have said Snap, Crackle, and Pop, as you may have guessed from the title.

Others include “Sun, Light and Burning Ray” and “Speaker, Word and Breath.” The wordings are meant to reflect particular aspects of worship, so a prayer noting God’s “wrath in the face of evil” might use “Fire That Consumes, Sword That Divides and Storm That Melts Mountains.” Some of the suggestions are familiar ones, such as “Creator, Savior, Sanctifier” and “Rock, Redeemer, Friend,” which other denominations already use.

Pat Robertson wanted “executive branch, legislative branch, and judicial branch,” but was too busy leg pressing an Escalade to attend the meeting.

Others include:

One Who Was, the One Who Is and the One Who Is to Come

As I said, confusing. Jesus was, the Father is, and the Holy Spirit…is to come? I thought it was already here? In all of us? This is what happens when you try to make God a lesson in verb tense.

Lover, Beloved and the Love, and Binds Together Lover and Beloved

I just want to know what happened to “the Love” in part 2. Why wasn’t it bound together with Lover and Beloved in part 3? Why is it being shut out? You’ll note that I did not make a joke about Love getting no love. A lesser man would have succumbed to such a temptation.

Fire That Consumes, Sword That Divides, and Storm That Melts Mountains

That’s a nice loving and peaceful one, isn’t it?

(via Crooked Timber)

Categories: Religion, Silliness
  1. July 2, 2006 at 5:03 pm

    I like Rock, Paper, Scissors personally.

  2. July 3, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    These churchies need hobbies. You know, non-loony hobbies. This sounds like something from Dogma that ended up on the cutting room floor.

  3. July 3, 2006 at 6:41 pm

    I logged on to say what Randy said.

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