Home > 2008 elections, Religion > A confession

A confession

You may have heard the news that Kay Hagan has been accused of accepting godless money.

Everyone is truly shocked, but I find myself having to make a confession. I have, on numerous occasions, given entities godless money without informing them that it was anything other than good Christian money.

I’ll wait for the shock to wear off before continuing.

Since this is an important issue to all Americans, I thought I would help you out. Here’s a list of those entities to which I have funneled godless cash:

Albertson’s
Rosauers
Hastings
Barnes and Noble
Gamestop
Barack Obama & Joe Biden
Jon Tester
Apple
Amazon
Allstate
Valve
Netflix
Domino’s
Bresnan
Red Cross
Target
Borders
Subway
Northwest Energy
Verizon

That’s not a complete list. I’ll try to get it up to date and accurate. Also, Zoot Enterprises and Montana State University have been implicated in a scheme to launder money through me over the past several years, taking good American money and turning it into godless money. No doubt investigations will follow this bombshell.

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Categories: 2008 elections, Religion
  1. Lina
    October 29, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    I work across the hall from Brad Miller (D-NC), and today I heard two of his staffers discussing this in thick Southern accents (I’m pretty sure they’re *just barely* Democrats) in the hallway, completely indignant that someone would tie such a “good person” to godless money, horror of horrors.

  2. October 29, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    You forgot the rollicking devil-machine that is Hollywood.
    Though you did pay to see Expelled…

  3. November 3, 2008 at 10:13 am

    Rosauers, eh?

    Elitist.

  4. November 3, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Actually, I just enjoy the gouging I get when I buy stuff there.

  1. October 31, 2008 at 7:55 am

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