Late night ramblings
So maybe this isn’t the best time for an introspective post, but here goes anyway, hopefully it’s coherent.
I seem to have this annoying drive to prove everything conclusively that I believe. Now, that may not sound odd or anything, I mean, you should have facts to back up what you believe, but that’s not quite what I mean. It’s the drive that when I hear or read something I don’t agree with right off, I need to look for something that contradicts it, or else it nags me endlessly. Even if it’s something from Fox News, if it’s something I don’t think is right, or doesn’t fit into my view, I have to find a counter to it. Now, you say, that’s good, you just don’t dismiss things, you try to figure it out. You’re not an ideologue. But even if it’s one tiny thing, and I have mountains of evidence otherwise, it bugs me. The best example I have is something I read, that on the networks during the 2000 election, states were called for Gore much faster than they were for Gore. That could be false, and there’s really no question the election was biased against Gore, but that information annoys me. It annoys me that it doesn’t “fit.” Maybe it’s just a desire to see things in black and white, to make things simple, which I know isn’t true, but it’s a desire everyone has. To separate the world into good and evil. That seems to be a major reason Bush is supported. He does that, and people trust him.
I wonder if this is really a bad thing? I’m not comfortable in just having my opinions justified to me, I want to make anyone else I argue with see the same thing. It irritates me when I don’t agree with them, but they don’t counter my arguments to my satisfaction. Why don’t they see it like this? These are rational people, I’m rational, how come I can’t “convert” them? Just the one argument, not to my whole political philosophy. I’m not smarter than anyone else, if I can see this, they can see this. I understand there are differences in the way different minds process information, but this would seem to me to be straightforward. It’s evidence they just seem to dismiss, but makes the argument for me.
So, I just don’t know. It’s good that this drives me to gain more knowledge, it’s bad that it can be stressfull. I can’t decide if I should be comfortable in my justified-to-me opinions, or that I should only be comfortable when I have justified every single piece of evidence I’ve seen. Who knows?