Speedkill

Court Delays Recall Vote in California; Faulty Ballots Cited

WASHINGTON, Sept. 15 – A federal appeals court ordered a delay today in California’s gubernatorial-recall election, adding new drama and uncertainty to an extraordinary chapter in American politics.

In a decision issued this afternoon, a three-judge panel of the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, in San Francisco, agreed with the American Civil Liberties Union and other plaintiffs that holding the election on Oct. 7 as scheduled would be wrong because some votes would be cast on outdated punch-card machines, making those votes less likely to be counted.

“This is a blow for democracy and the people should not stand for it! It’s because the Ninth Circuit is liberal; you can’t call me a conservative for just pointing that out, either,” croaks O’Reilly.

“This is an attempt by those far-left judges to undermine democracy because of their partisanship! Damn those liberal scumbags, I want a Republican as governor of California,” whines Hannity.